Round of 64
EAST
· Mountain Man v. Gambit – A little extra strength doesn’t go far against a man that can
blow things up just by touching them.
· Gambit v. Nova – Gambit is a big time opponent for the first round and even Nova
knows better than to take him lightly. Nova chooses one of Mario’s tree
top levels to fight in, and stays well out of range of Gambits cards.
After a couple passes Gambit simply walks off the field, winking at a pretty
girl in the stands saying, “It was not meant to be, Cherie.” Nova
advances.
· Badger v. Tinkerer – Badger puts the Tinkerer in the Octagon and strikes
quickly. The Tinkerer had a plan until he got punch in the mouth.
Badger advances.
· Cavalier v. Hawk – Cavalier is a man in a funny hat. Hawk is the incarnation
of chaos possessing boundless strength and speed. Hawk advances.
· Killer Croc v. Psycho Pirate – Psycho Pirate gets a bad match up in the first round.
Killer Croc takes him down into the sewers. Psycho Pirate tries to mess
with Killer Croc’s emotions. But the only thing Killer Croc feels is
hunger. Killer Croc leaves the sewers alone.
· Ajax v. Longshot – Meeting on the neutral field of the University of Dayton Arena.
Ajax grabs a loose ball and chucks it at Longshot as he charges
across the court. Longshot ducks to the side and looks up to see Ajax
bearing down on him. Realizing that Ajax is a sucky villain Longshot decides to
end things quickly before his luck can get involved. Avoiding all of
Ajax’s punches with ease, Longshot gets behind him and slams him through the
floor. Longshot catches the basketball that had ricocheted off the stands
and was coming back at Ajax and advances.
· Longshot vs. Jonah Hex – Jonah Hex chooses an abandoned western town as his location and
he has spent a lot of time planting traps to catch Longshot unawares.
Unfortunately for him, Longshot runs through town narrowly avoiding each
trap. Jonah Hex sees him coming and takes his best shot. But
of course the bullet ricochets of a can, off a saloon door, through a bottle of
whiskey and right back at Jonah Hex. Longshot advances.
· Ursa Major v. Poison Ivy – Ursa Major takes Poison Ivy as far north as he can, choosing to
battle in an ice covered field in the Arctic Circle trying to get Poison Ivy
away from her precious plants. It’s really too bad he didn’t have BBC back in
Russia, otherwise he would have heard David Attenborough remind us that
even here life finds away. With Poison Ivy’s “encouragement” the grass
starts to grow up through the snow and no matter where he runs Ursa can feel
thousands of thin blades of grass reaching for him. Eventually he trips
and is swallowed by the field. Poison Ivy advances.
· Robin (Jason Todd) v. Hawkgirl – Robin takes Hawkgirl inside a large department store, where she
can’t fly and he has plenty of places to hide. Smashing most of the
lights he quickly turns the store into a dark world full of flickering lights
and disappears. Enraged by her inability to find him Hawkgirl begins
smashing everything in sight. Suddenly Robin emerges from a row of
sweaters and detaches Hawkgirl’s Nth Metal belt. Without her belt
Hawkgirl crashes to the ground where Robin quickly overwhelms her with his
superior fighting skills. Robin Advances.
· Nightcrawler v. Donna Troy – Knowing that he is outclassed by Wonder Girl, Nightcrawler
consults the other X-Men on how he can beat her. Logan reminds him that
no matter how he dresses and acts, Nightcrawler is still a monster of the
night. Together with Logan and Scott he works out a plan. Instead of
choosing an open space where his teleportation can help him, Nightcrawler
chooses a dark cavern with thousands of tunnels and no light. Donna
Troy is powerful, but she is a child of the morning sun, in the perfect darkness
she never sees him coming. Refusing to fight her straight up,
Nightcrawler slides through the darkness, striking over and over again.
At Scott’s advice he doesn’t try to beat her physically, but instead focuses on
breaking her mind. After 12 hours constantly being on alert, being struck
from all sides, and only hearing Nightcrawler’s quiet chuckle in the darkness,
Donna breaks down. She curls up into the fetal position on the floor and
weeps quietly. Hippolyta can’t take it anymore and breaks into the arena
and carries Donna out of the field. Nightcrawler advances.
MIDWEST
· Sam Wilson v. The Ringer – Due to a clerical error Johnny Knoxville is brought to the arena
instead of Anthony Davis. Sam lets him borrow his wings and Knoxville
quickly crashes into a wall. Sam Wilson advances.
· Jay Garrick v. Sam Wilson – If Captain America running around a lake made Falcon feel
inadequate, imagine how Garrick makes him feel. Garrick chooses a
building with a roof and ends things quickly.
· Weather Wizard v. Master Chief – The Weather Wizard chooses to fight on the beach hoping to
overwhelm Master Chief quickly. Having survived the Flood, the Covenant
and the cold dark of space, a little rain doesn’t faze Master Chief. He pulls
out his Battle Rifle and quickly destroys the Weather Wizards wand. He
leaps into the air and finishes the fight with the butt of his gun.
Master Chief advances.
· Red Tornado v. Multiple Man – Red Tornado chooses a building with many rooms to fight
in. As soon as the battle begins Multiple Man begins to multiply creating
hundreds of copies of himself. Red Tornado is ready for this and uses his
nanites to change into a human form that looks exactly like Madrox.
Unable to tell which one Red Tornado a huge brawl breaks out with all of
the Madrox multiples fighting each other. Eventually only 1 Madrox
remains. Looking over the carnage Red Tornado turns back into his robotic
form and walks off the winner. Red Tornado advances.
· Iron v. Pumyra – In the least attended match up of the tournament Iron’s superior
size and strength quickly prove too much for Pumyra. Iron advances.
· Blue Jay v. War Machine – Blue Jay shrinks immediately and tries to fly away from War
Machine. Rhodes takes his time, allows his targeting computers to lock on
to Blue Jay and fires a single shot from the Widow Maker. Even though the
Hammertek weapon fails to explode, it still hits Blue Jay and knocks him
out. War Machine advances.
· Darkwing Duck v. Silver Banshee – Darkwing Duck is the shadow that lurks in the night, but Silver
Banshee is a superhuman with speed, strength, a sonic yell that can kill anyone
and the ability to possess any mind she wishes. Darkwing Duck chooses to
fight on a dark street but Banshee quickly finds him. Abandoning her
current host, she possesses Darkwing Duck. Too late she realized her
mistake. Silver Banshee possesses the mind, and Darkwing Duck has no
brain. Without a host to possess, Banshee quickly fades to the underworld.
Darkwing Duck advances.
· Logan v. Vigilante – Vigilante is a superb fighter and a brilliant marksman.
Logan finishes him quickly and gets back to his day drinking.
· Red Robin v. Cluemaster – The Cluemaster carefully prepared a number of traps and games
leading up to the fight that he was sure would foul up even the Batman’s best
protégé. What he didn’t know is that Red Robin had been following him for
months and Batman fixed the draw to make sure Red Robin would face off against
the Cluemaster. Drake skips all of Cluemasters games and shows up in his
lair where he quickly finishes the fight.
WEST
· Lockjaw v. White Rabbit- Jaina isn’t a pushover,
but this isn’t a good matchup for her. Lockjaw chooses an open area with
very little cover- with nowhere to hide, White Rabbit uses her bio-fission to
try to buy her some time, but Lockjaw is everywhere, and with his strength and
senses, there’s no fooling him- this one is over quickly. Lockjaw
advances.
· Wildcat vs. Commodore Norrington- Home court advantage is
key here, as on the open waters, the commodore might have the advantage.
Unfortunately, Wildcat takes Norrington to the Octagon, and in the squared
circle, he’s at a serious disadvantage. Norrington takes out his rapier
and prepares to duel, but Wildcat’s a trained fighter- he easily disarms
Norrington, and it isn’t long before Norrington’s crying uncle. Wildcat moves
on.
· Daredevil vs. White Tiger- This is the first fight in the region that looks really
close. Daredevil is most at home in an Urban cityscape at midnight with a
new moon. In the darkness, Daredevil has a massive advantage over sighted
opponents. But Eva’s reflexes, strength, and speed are all more than a
match even for the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. This battle turns into a
knock-down, drag-out fight, with each combatant landing multiple shots, and
performing impossible feats of aggressive acrobatics. In the end, it’s
Daredevil’s greater fighting experience coupled with his slight sense advantage
that allows him to walk away, but not without a limp.
· Sabretooth vs. Bison- This matchup is one that
nature dictated its outcome from the beginning. Even with the strength of
a Bison, Billy doesn’t stand much of a chance against an Apex predator like
Sabretooth. With home field advantage, this fight goes down much like
something gruesome you’d see on the Discovery Channel. Sabretooth advances.
· Raphael vs. the Blob- Rafael chooses the sewers
hoping that the space limitations will affect the Blob, and give him the upper
hand. Raph uses his prodigious ninja dexterity to attack from the Blob’s
ample blindside, but it causes barely a scratch. Enraged Raph charges in
blindly, where he’s surprised by the Blob’s mobility, and the Blob finishes him
off with a vicious Body Slam. The Blob is victorious.
· Warpath vs. American Eagle- This is a battle of Native
American superstars. Their powers are also very similar which makes the
first portion of this fight very interesting. As the fighters feel each
other out, 80% of all the attacks from both parties are easily blocked or
evaded. Then Warpath gets serious. American Eagle realizes he can’t
reach the upper limits of Warpath’s powers when Warpath accidentally starts
hovering above the ground. American Eagle sees the writing on the wall
and surrenders- Warpath advances.
· Peter Parquagh vs. Ares (Marvel)- The Spider chooses an urban
landscape with lots of space for web-slinging, but even as he uses his
dexterity to try to keep away from Ares deadly onslaught, Parquagh knows he’s
at a disadvantage. Ares is faster, stronger, and on a whole different
level. Peter uses up his bag of tricks in a hurry- the web to the eyes,
web balls, web slingshot- but none of it even slows down the Olympian.
His Earth- 616 counterpart would likely have found a way, but this Universe’s
spider just doesn’t have the bite. When Ares finally catches up to the
Spider in close combat, the match is over. Ares wins.
· Shadowcat vs. Hawkman- Shadowcat wisely decides
to fight Hawkman within an enclosed Labyrinth taking away his superior flight
advantage. She can move freely through all the walls, but he
cannot. She knows he has a MAJOR strength advantage, but by picking her
spots, she’s able to hit and run- making all his physical attacks pass right
through her, and slipping away. The fight goes on for days, until Hawkman
has exhausted himself, and Shadowcat finally brings him down. Shadowcat
moves on.
South
· Clayface vs. Tigress- Artemis as Tigress is
strong, fast, and skilled. But Clayface gets home field advantage.
In a giant mud/clay pit, Tigress’ speed and agility are sapped, and Clayface
has access to almost infinite amounts of clay. All of Tigress’ attacks
are futile. Clayface easily advances to the next round.
· Bebop vs. Corsair- Bebop gets the home field
advantage, and sets the stage for a street fight. Bebop is stronger than
Corsair, and without access to his ship, Corsair isn’t at his strongest.
Fortunately, Corsair has one key advantage over Bebop- brains. Using the
oldest trick in the book- a simple “what’s that over there?” Bebop turns to
look, lowers his guard, and opens the door for Corsair to pull his hidden
weapon, and end the fight before it even begins. “Made you look,” mutters
Corsair as he advances to the next round.
· Squirrel Girl vs. Static Shock- Squirrel girl chooses a
tire factory hoping to negate some of Static’s electric powers. She
quickly flips a whole bunch of tires around his waist, and the knocks him out-
only to wake up and realize that it was only a dream she had while she was unconscious
from getting roasted by Static. Static advances.
· Alfred Pennyworth vs. Nighthawk- Alfred is hosting
this fight in the Batcave where he has easy access to all of Batman’s most
lethal toys. Nighthawk is stronger, faster, and a tactical genius.
He’s also overconfident. Not seeing the old man as a threat, Nighthawk
backs Alfred into a corner, right where Alfred wanted him so when Alfred
activates the Bat-Laser, it’s night-night Nighthawk- the Butler moves on.
· Deacon vs. Catwoman- Deacon goes after Catwoman
believing her to be evil. It’s strength vs speed and agility in this
match. Catwoman outmaneuvers Deacon, and using her whip she’s able to get
behind him where his overdeveloped biceps won’t reach. With her whip
she’s able to hold on for the victory.
· Black Cat vs. Catwoman- immediately after her
victory over Deacon, Catwoman has to fight Black Cat. Catwoman is already
exhausted from her first fight, and now finds herself against an opponent even
stronger and faster than the one she had in the last round. Catwoman
attacks, but it’s almost as though Black Cat can anticipate her every
move. When Black Cat hits her, it’s almost as though she’s being hit with
a sledgehammer. Black Cat respects Catwoman’s style, but Felicia is able
to evade Selina’s attacks, and gets in enough ‘licks’ of her own so that the
Black Cat is the lucky one. Winner- Black Cat.
· Zap-Panda vs. Marahute- Marahute is majestic,
soaring through the sky, but with nothing more than the powers of a regular
Golden Eagle, Zap Panda’s magic is too much for the bird. Zap Panda
chains up the bird to win the fight, but releases her back into the wild before
any poachers can get to her.
· Angel vs. Shocker- Angel relies heavily
on getting the higher seed- he’s able to choose a wide open area with just a
small amount of land. Shocker doesn’t know where Angel’s attacks are
coming from, and is close to the edge. Still, if Pokémon has taught us
anything, it’s that flying types are weak against electricity. Shocker
lands one lucky electric strike, and Angel falls from the sky. Shocker
moves on.
· Dr. Manhattan vs. Thor- Two of the heaviest
hitters in the tourney, in a FIRST ROUND matchup! Thor goes after Dr.
Manhattan, hitting him HARD with blows to the body and then a direct lightning
strike. Dr. Manhattan didn’t even want to be in this tournament, but
Thor’s attacks have the unintended consequence of waking him up. A now
motivated Dr. Manhattan adjusts Thor’s molecular structure so he’s nothing more
than an incredibly muscular houseplant. Dr. Manhattan advances.
Round of 32
EAST
· Nova vs. Badger- Nova’s power of flight and
Nova blasts mean that Badger can’t even lay a single hand on Nova. This
one was over before it even began. Nova advances.
· Hawk vs. Killer Croc- Without his partner Dove
to reign him in Hawk goes into a berserker rage- going straight at Croc turning
what could have been a clean fight into the street brawl of all street
brawls. Croc’s rage is just as intense, and the fighting is just all
animal instinct. Sacrificing his tactical advantage for a blind rage
proves to be Hawk’s downfall, as Croc emerges from the bloody scrum the last
one standing.
· Longshot vs. Poison Ivy- Longshot chooses a Las Vegas casino, and as soon as the fight
begins, all the luck in the whole town is being diverted right to him.
Ivy turns the whole town into a jungle and has Longshot on the ropes almost
immediately, but each time she almost has him, a vine breaks, or a gap
opens. Longshot palms a single casino chip right as Ivy closes her plants
in around him. With a final prayer he flings the chip off a roulette
wheel, out a window, off a building, off a car, down a vine and miraculously
directly into Ivy’s mouth. She starts to turn blue, and the fight is
called so she can get the Heimlich. In another fluke, the victory goes to
Longshot.
· Nightcrawler vs. Robin- Nightcrawler’s still tired
from outlasting Wonder Girl in the previous round, and is up against Batman’s
protégé. He chooses a level from Mario with lots of wide open spaces and
multiple tiers just one BAMF away. The various levels of attack throw off
Robin at first, but then, he adapts. Using martial arts learned from the
best, there’s no longer any openings for Nightcrawler no matter where he
teleports to. Nightcrawler resorts to teleporting out of harm’s way,
knowing that he’s done for in any type of close combat. The constant
fleeing, exposes this particular Robin’s weakness- patience. Unlike his
mentor, Jason loses his cool and goes for the knockout only to fall to his
demise (it’s okay he had a 1up so he’ll come back as the Red Hood).
Nightcrawler advances.
MIDWEST
· Flash vs. Master Chief- What a matchup! Both heroes have saved entire
galaxies/universes even. Still, even though the Master Chief is used to
impossible odds against ridiculous enemies- Garrick isn’t like anything he’s
ever seen. His targeting systems can’t keep up with the Flash’s speed,
and Garrick made sure the venue had no cover for the chief’s shields to recover
from the body blows he’s dealing. Before Master Chief can come up with
any sort of counter-maneuvers, he’s already respawned at the last
checkpoint. Garrick moves on.
· Iron vs. Red Tornado- In a battle of the
androids, Red Tornado resents competing against what is clearly an outdated
model. Lead is strong, but Red Tornado has him outclassed in every
way. Lead forfeits rather than take the beating that would be coming to
him.
· Darkwing Duck vs. War Machine- Darkwing takes War Machine to St. Canard, and barely is able to
get out his catchphrase, “Let’s get Dangerous…” before War Machine knocks him
out cold with some non-lethal weaponry he brought in specifically for this fight.
Rhodey Advances.
· Wolverine vs. Red Robin- Tim Drake chooses to fight
this battle in Gotham City, where he’ll need every advantage he can get.
As the smartest of all the Robins, Tim recognizes the need to mask his scent,
and use his martial arts training to try to capture the element of
surprise. Unfortunately, Wolverine is the best at what he does and what
he does isn’t very nice, and what is Gotham but an urban jungle. All of
Tim’s strategies don’t mean much when you’re up against a guy who’s basically
immortal with steak knives on his knuckles. Wolverine corners the kid,
but shows mercy when Tim realizes this isn’t a fight he’s going to win.
Wolverine moves on.
WEST
· Lockjaw v Wildcat – Feeling like he needs a workout before things really get going
Lockjaw decides not to use his teleportation and meets Wildcat in the
Octagon. Wildcat doesn’t appreciate being disrespected like that,
but he likes getting torn apart even less, and quickly taps out.
· Daredevil v. Sabretooth – Back out in the mountains, Sabretooth abandons stealth and goes
toe to toe with Daredevil. Murdoch is already tired and worn down after
round 1. Sabretooth takes his best shot and then throws him off a
cliff. Sabretooth advances.
· The Blob v. Warpath – The immovable against the irresistible. Warpath
follows Sabertooth’s lead and heads up into the narrow mountain paths.
There he starts working the Blob over pretty good. So far
he’s mostly annoying the Blob but pretty soon his tactics become clear as he
moves the Blob closer and closer to the edge of a cliff. Now the Blob is
stupid, but he’s not that stupid. Finally figuring out Warpath’s plan he
charges wildly. Warpath dodges to the side and the Blob smashes into a
cliff face behind him. A true force of nature Blob’s crash starts an
avalanche. Warpath tries to get away but with the whole mountain crashing
down around him he is quickly buried. After the avalanche finally stops
there is a moment of quiet, then a groan and the Blob gets up and slowly starts
walking down the mountain in search of a cheese burger.
· Ares v. Shadowcat – Once again Shadowcat is out-muscled, but it doesn’t matter if
they can’t hit her. Following her formula from last round, Shadowcat
takes Ares into a maze. Dodging and dodging he waits until Ares begins to
slow, then she grabs his foot and pulls him down into the earth and drops him
in Hades Inc. where Ares is stuck doing paper work for all eternity.
Rising back to the surface, Shadowcat advances.
SOUTH
· Clayface v. Corsair – Clayface takes Corsair into a crowded city and quickly
transforms into just another face in the crowd and disappears. Clayface
simply waits until Corsair lets his guard down knocks him out from
behind. Clayface advances.
· Static Shock v. Alfred – Alfred once again keeps the fight in the Batcave. Despite
this fact the differences in their power is just too great; Static quickly
corners Alfred, but is bothered by the fact that Alfred refuses to laugh at any
of his jokes. That brief hesitation is enough for Alfred to grab the suit
Batman designed to fight the Electrocutioner and turn the tables on
Static. Unable to hit Alfred, Static becomes upset and starts destroying
the Batcave. Seeing how much work cleaning the Batcave up would take,
Alfred quickly resigns and gets to work rebuilding the Batboat.
· Black Cat v. Zap Panda – Black Cat is a superb human. But Zap-Panda is a magic
panda bear with all of Zatana’s powers. Zap-Panda reaches into her hat
and pulls out a net. Black Cat is quickly caught up and Zap-Panda
advances.
· Shocker v. Dr. Manhattan – Shocker comes at Dr. Manhattan with everything he has, but Dr.
Manhattan can’t be bother to stop his research and simply transports him to
Mars. Dr. Manhattan advances.
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